grump

Tuesday, March 3, 2005.
I accidentally stepped on a scorpion yesterday in my kitchen, luckily I had my slippers on, and usually I go barefooted in my apartment. When I looked down I saw a flattened little scorpion in the middle of the floor; just one more thing to add to my discontent. Oh yes, I realize contentment/discontentment is all in the mind, but learning to control the mind is something I have yet to master. I never have liked scorpions living with me.
And what's more I'm not adjusting well to living in an apartment house. There's always somebody bumping about or slamming a door or some such thing. For most normal people a little bumping and thumping is no big deal, but for a person like me who is slightly neurotic, perhaps even more than slightly, it becomes difficult to deal with. I do not like to complain about people because I prefer to see myself as a compassionate loving person, but when I am in this state of mind compassion and love are lacking. Anyway I shouldn't complain because almost everything I have, the apartment, the utilities, food, clothing, just about everything material is a gift. And as I have said before, most of it is given to me by a government I detest and would do anything, within the pale of God's law, to change. I see the present political and economic system as Satanic, evil and oppressive.